1 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:50,682 Mom! 2 00:00:52,393 --> 00:00:54,227 Mom! Help me. 3 00:00:57,398 --> 00:00:58,398 What is it? 4 00:00:58,482 --> 00:01:01,317 I wasn't dreaming, Walt. I didn't imagine it. 5 00:01:01,402 --> 00:01:04,571 I heard him. I heard him. I heard him. I heard Chris. 6 00:01:04,822 --> 00:01:07,448 - I heard him! - I know. 7 00:01:07,658 --> 00:01:10,159 No. I wasn't imagining it, Walt. 8 00:01:10,578 --> 00:01:13,121 No, I did. He's... He's... 9 00:01:14,331 --> 00:01:16,541 - I heard him! - Billie. 10 00:03:43,482 --> 00:03:45,525 That's about as far as I can get you. 11 00:03:45,609 --> 00:03:47,235 All right. Thank you. 12 00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:04,502 - You left all your shit on my dash. - Keep it. 13 00:04:05,504 --> 00:04:07,005 Suit yourself. 14 00:04:07,590 --> 00:04:09,048 Thanks again. 15 00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:12,886 Hey, hold on a minute. 16 00:04:17,141 --> 00:04:20,061 Here, take these. They'll keep your feet dry. 17 00:04:21,481 --> 00:04:25,358 If you make it out alive, give me a call. My number's inside the boots. 18 00:04:25,693 --> 00:04:26,860 Thanks. 19 00:09:04,684 --> 00:09:05,851 Hello? 20 00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:15,087 Is there anybody here? 21 00:10:17,966 --> 00:10:19,466 Guess not! 22 00:11:28,079 --> 00:11:30,289 Two years he walks the earth. 23 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,840 No phone, no pool, no pets, 24 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,468 no cigarettes. 25 00:11:59,903 --> 00:12:01,612 Ultimate freedom. 26 00:12:03,531 --> 00:12:07,534 An extremist. An aesthetic voyager 27 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:13,499 whose home is the road. 28 00:12:14,459 --> 00:12:17,836 "Hey, listen, old man. Now, don't psychoanalyze me, all right? 29 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,839 "Shut up. I'm taking you out to where we're going." 30 00:12:20,924 --> 00:12:22,508 "Where you going?" 31 00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:25,344 "I told you. We're going nowhere!" 32 00:12:27,889 --> 00:12:33,519 So now, after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. 33 00:12:35,105 --> 00:12:38,357 The climactic battle to kill 34 00:12:39,776 --> 00:12:41,694 the false being within 35 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:46,740 and victoriously conclude the spiritual revolution. 36 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:21,066 No longer to be poisoned by civilization, he flees, 37 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,695 and walks alone upon the land to become 38 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,698 lost in the wild. 39 00:13:59,232 --> 00:14:04,278 ... hard work and manifold contributions to our community during their time here, 40 00:14:05,238 --> 00:14:08,574 we salute you and offer all of you 41 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,786 one more round of applause and congratulations. 42 00:14:18,585 --> 00:14:21,379 Nina Lynn Lockwynn. 43 00:14:26,301 --> 00:14:29,512 Vanessa Denise Lowery. 44 00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:37,353 Christopher Johnson McCandless. 45 00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:51,700 Regina Victoria McNabb. 46 00:15:14,850 --> 00:15:18,519 I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges. 47 00:15:21,690 --> 00:15:25,734 I see my father strolling out under the ochre sandstone arch, 48 00:15:26,153 --> 00:15:30,281 the red tiles glinting like bent plates of blood behind his head. 49 00:15:31,241 --> 00:15:33,993 I see my mother with a few light books at her hip, 50 00:15:34,077 --> 00:15:37,705 standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks with the wrought-iron gates 51 00:15:37,789 --> 00:15:41,876 still open behind her, its sword-tips black in the May air. 52 00:15:42,878 --> 00:15:44,962 They are about to graduate. 53 00:15:46,173 --> 00:15:50,926 They are about to get married. They are kids. They are dumb. 54 00:15:51,511 --> 00:15:55,556 All they know is they are innocent, they would never hurt anybody. 55 00:15:57,811 --> 00:16:01,522 I want to go up to them and say, "Stop, don't do it. 56 00:16:01,773 --> 00:16:05,359 "She's the wrong woman, he's the wrong man. 57 00:16:05,652 --> 00:16:09,739 "You are going to do things you cannot imagine you would ever do. 58 00:16:09,907 --> 00:16:12,992 "You are going to do bad things to children. 59 00:16:13,076 --> 00:16:15,661 "You are going to suffer in ways you never heard of. 60 00:16:15,746 --> 00:16:17,747 "You are going to want to die." 61 00:16:20,209 --> 00:16:24,253 I want to go up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it. 62 00:16:24,671 --> 00:16:27,632 But I don't do it. I want to live. 63 00:16:29,635 --> 00:16:33,679 I take them up like the male and female paper dolls, and bang them together 64 00:16:33,764 --> 00:16:38,768 at the hips like chips of flint, as if to strike sparks from them. I say, 65 00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:44,815 "Do what you are going to do and I will tell about it." 66 00:16:46,109 --> 00:16:48,569 Here they are, Walt. Okay? 67 00:16:49,488 --> 00:16:51,197 Who wrote that? 68 00:16:51,698 --> 00:16:56,202 Well, could have been either one of us, couldn't it? 69 00:16:56,286 --> 00:16:58,996 Why is he letting Carine drive his car? 70 00:16:59,790 --> 00:17:02,416 There's a lot of great poems in here. 71 00:17:07,297 --> 00:17:09,507 I have to speak to her about it. 72 00:17:09,591 --> 00:17:10,633 Sit down. 73 00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:13,386 Excuse me. I'm going to get my son. 74 00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:16,639 He just graduated today from Emory College. 75 00:17:16,723 --> 00:17:18,015 I'll get it. I'll get it. 76 00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:21,686 Chris, hi! We've been waiting and waiting. 77 00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:26,148 You scared me half to death jumping up there on that stage like that. 78 00:17:27,401 --> 00:17:29,652 - Hi, Dad. - Congratulations, Son. 79 00:17:29,778 --> 00:17:33,155 - This is a big step. - Thank you, Dad. 80 00:17:33,657 --> 00:17:34,991 All right. 81 00:17:36,243 --> 00:17:38,244 You're not supposed to be driving in Georgia. 82 00:17:38,328 --> 00:17:39,453 Why? I have my permit. 83 00:17:39,538 --> 00:17:41,747 'Cause it's against the law for a learner's permit 84 00:17:41,832 --> 00:17:45,251 to drive in another state from one's home state. That's why. 85 00:17:45,335 --> 00:17:48,754 I didn't know that. I thought that if I was with a legal driver that it'd be okay. 86 00:17:48,839 --> 00:17:49,839 Well, let's... 87 00:17:59,516 --> 00:18:02,560 - Are they going to continue? - No. 88 00:18:04,855 --> 00:18:07,523 I guess everybody's celebrating today. 89 00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:11,569 - They're going to stay in the bar, right? - That's right. 90 00:18:22,958 --> 00:18:26,628 My grades are good enough, I think, to get into Harvard Law. 91 00:18:26,712 --> 00:18:28,671 Chris, that's wonderful. 92 00:18:30,132 --> 00:18:32,216 That is a big deal. 93 00:18:32,885 --> 00:18:35,595 How much do you have left in the college fund? 94 00:18:36,055 --> 00:18:41,142 Exactly $24,500.68. 95 00:18:41,226 --> 00:18:42,894 Well, that's specific. 96 00:18:42,978 --> 00:18:45,730 I had to go to the bank this morning, Mom. 97 00:18:47,399 --> 00:18:51,569 Your mother and I will be glad to contribute the balance for Harvard. 98 00:18:51,654 --> 00:18:53,112 That's right. 99 00:18:53,405 --> 00:18:54,739 I've got to figure out what I'm going to do. 100 00:18:54,823 --> 00:18:58,284 I've got a lot of things to pack and organize here first. 101 00:18:58,369 --> 00:19:02,872 Your father and I, we want to make a present to you. 102 00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:06,292 We want to get you out of that junker. 103 00:19:06,835 --> 00:19:08,252 What junker? 104 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:09,962 That. 105 00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:15,718 - We want to buy you a new car. - That's right. 106 00:19:15,844 --> 00:19:17,261 A new car? 107 00:19:19,515 --> 00:19:21,599 Why would I want a new car? 108 00:19:22,685 --> 00:19:24,394 Datsun runs great. 109 00:19:25,938 --> 00:19:28,731 Do you think I want some fancy boat? 110 00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:33,611 Are you worried what the neighbors might think? 111 00:19:33,779 --> 00:19:36,572 Well, we weren't gonna get you a brand new Cadillac, Chris. 112 00:19:36,657 --> 00:19:39,867 We just want to get you a nice new car that's safe to drive. 113 00:19:39,952 --> 00:19:43,538 And you never know when that thing out there just might blow up. 114 00:19:43,622 --> 00:19:49,836 Blow up. Blow up? Are you guys crazy? It's a great car. 115 00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:54,632 I don't need a new car. I don't want a new car. 116 00:19:54,967 --> 00:19:57,051 - I don't want anything. - Okay. 117 00:19:57,136 --> 00:20:00,888 - These things, things, things, things. - Okay. 118 00:20:00,973 --> 00:20:02,765 - Everything has to be difficult. - Thank you. 119 00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:04,934 - Thank you. - Maybe that's not what he means. 120 00:20:05,018 --> 00:20:08,688 Maybe he just wants his old car. It's not such a big deal. 121 00:20:10,983 --> 00:20:13,651 Thank you. I just don't want anything. 122 00:20:23,036 --> 00:20:25,413 Chris measured himself and those around him 123 00:20:25,497 --> 00:20:28,082 by a fiercely rigorous moral code. 124 00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:29,292 Bye, Chris! 125 00:20:29,626 --> 00:20:32,712 He risked what could have been a relentlessly lonely path 126 00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:36,509 but found company in the characters of the books he loved 127 00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:43,349 from writers like Tolstoy, Jack London and Thoreau. 128 00:20:45,019 --> 00:20:48,188 He could summon their words to suit any occasion, 129 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,690 and he often would. 130 00:21:06,081 --> 00:21:11,127 I forgot to ask what quote he'd have picked for his graduation dinner, 131 00:21:11,212 --> 00:21:14,798 but I had a good idea of who the primary target would be. 132 00:21:19,637 --> 00:21:22,639 It was inevitable that Chris would break away. 133 00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:28,728 And when he did, he would do it with characteristic immoderation. 134 00:22:14,775 --> 00:22:19,112 "It should not be denied that being footloose has always exhilarated us. 135 00:22:20,114 --> 00:22:23,032 "It is associated in our minds with escape 136 00:22:24,201 --> 00:22:28,037 "from history and oppression and law and irksome obligations. 137 00:22:29,540 --> 00:22:31,291 "Absolute freedom. 138 00:22:33,544 --> 00:22:35,962 "And the road has always led west." 139 00:24:36,210 --> 00:24:37,711 I need a name. 140 00:25:07,074 --> 00:25:08,950 Toward the end of June, 141 00:25:09,035 --> 00:25:12,078 Emory had mailed our parents Chris' final grade report. 142 00:25:12,621 --> 00:25:14,247 Almost all A's. 143 00:25:14,665 --> 00:25:17,419 A in Apartheid in South African Society. 144 00:25:18,212 --> 00:25:22,758 A- minus in Contemporary African Politics and the Food Crisis in Africa. 145 00:25:23,634 --> 00:25:27,012 And on it went. Clever boy, my brother. 146 00:25:28,639 --> 00:25:32,309 But by the end of July, we hadn't heard anything from him 147 00:25:32,393 --> 00:25:34,936 and my parents were becoming unsettled. 148 00:25:36,522 --> 00:25:38,899 Chris had never had a phone, 149 00:25:38,983 --> 00:25:42,486 so they decided to drive down to Atlanta and surprise him. 150 00:25:57,585 --> 00:26:00,337 When they arrived at the apartment, there was a "For Rent" sign up 151 00:26:00,421 --> 00:26:03,924 and the manager said that Chris had moved out at the end of May. 152 00:26:04,008 --> 00:26:06,051 Oh, yes. He left two months ago. 153 00:26:06,344 --> 00:26:08,345 So when they got home, 154 00:26:08,429 --> 00:26:12,557 I had to hand them all the letters that they had sent Chris that summer, 155 00:26:13,142 --> 00:26:16,978 which had been returned in a bundle. 156 00:26:17,355 --> 00:26:21,566 Chris had arranged for the post office to hold them until August 1st, 157 00:26:21,651 --> 00:26:24,528 to buy himself some time. 158 00:26:25,571 --> 00:26:27,614 Did you know about this? 159 00:26:28,199 --> 00:26:30,117 He didn't say anything. 160 00:26:30,743 --> 00:26:34,287 I understood what he was doing. That he had spent four years 161 00:26:34,372 --> 00:26:38,458 fulfilling the absurd and tedious duty of graduating from college, 162 00:26:41,087 --> 00:26:45,549 and now he was emancipated from that world of abstraction, 163 00:26:45,633 --> 00:26:50,178 false security, parents and material excess, 164 00:26:51,180 --> 00:26:55,016 the things that cut Chris off from the truth of his existence. 165 00:28:09,302 --> 00:28:10,469 Hey! 166 00:28:14,474 --> 00:28:17,351 - Hey, man. Step around. Jump in. - Okay, great. 167 00:28:17,936 --> 00:28:21,188 We barely saw you there underneath that crazy hat of yours. 168 00:28:21,314 --> 00:28:25,025 This door's a little tricky. There you go. Hop in. 169 00:28:28,655 --> 00:28:29,863 That's Rainey. 170 00:28:29,948 --> 00:28:31,657 - Hi, Rainey. - Yeah, I'm Rainey. 171 00:28:31,741 --> 00:28:33,408 - I'm Jan. - Hi. I'm Alex. 172 00:28:33,493 --> 00:28:34,826 Alex with the hat on. 173 00:28:34,911 --> 00:28:36,995 - Yeah, I know. You said it, man. - Yeah. 174 00:28:38,748 --> 00:28:40,707 So you're a leather now. 175 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,043 I'm a leather? 176 00:28:43,127 --> 00:28:48,257 Yeah, a leather tramp. That's what they call the ones that hoof it, go on foot. 177 00:28:49,092 --> 00:28:51,301 Technically we're rubber tramps. 178 00:28:51,386 --> 00:28:53,428 Because we have a vehicle. 179 00:28:54,597 --> 00:28:57,891 - You don't have to push me away. - Come on, please? 180 00:28:59,394 --> 00:29:04,523 Yeah, Alex could have a vehicle as well, but he decided to burn all of his money. 181 00:29:06,818 --> 00:29:08,777 And why did you do that? 182 00:29:10,530 --> 00:29:13,865 I don't need money. Makes people cautious. 183 00:29:16,202 --> 00:29:18,787 Come on, Alex. You gotta be a little cautious. 184 00:29:18,871 --> 00:29:21,957 I mean, that book of yours is cool and everything, 185 00:29:22,208 --> 00:29:25,335 but you can't depend entirely on leaves and berries. 186 00:29:26,462 --> 00:29:30,090 I don't know if you want to depend on much more than that. 187 00:29:30,967 --> 00:29:33,051 Where are your mom and dad? 188 00:29:36,055 --> 00:29:38,265 Living their lies somewhere. 189 00:29:41,269 --> 00:29:43,812 You look like a loved kid. Be fair. 190 00:29:44,981 --> 00:29:46,064 Fair? 191 00:29:47,066 --> 00:29:48,900 You know what I mean. 192 00:29:51,946 --> 00:29:54,197 I'll paraphrase Thoreau here. 193 00:29:55,201 --> 00:29:59,496 "Rather than love, than money, than faith, 194 00:29:59,581 --> 00:30:03,625 "than fame, than fairness, 195 00:30:06,046 --> 00:30:07,629 "give me truth." 196 00:30:29,069 --> 00:30:32,112 From as long ago as Chris and I could remember, 197 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,449 there have been daily bouts of rage in our house. 198 00:30:35,533 --> 00:30:40,037 Violence that we were forced to witness. It was very real. 199 00:30:41,956 --> 00:30:44,541 But it was also like theater. 200 00:30:46,044 --> 00:30:50,005 They cast us as both judges and the accused. 201 00:30:50,340 --> 00:30:55,969 And I got you this token, this expensive token. 202 00:30:56,388 --> 00:30:58,555 Dad had been the young genius 203 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:03,435 that NASA enlisted to do crucial designs for the American satellite radar systems 204 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:08,065 that would be our answer to the Russian Sputnik. 205 00:31:08,149 --> 00:31:10,567 And Mom and he later started up a consulting firm 206 00:31:10,652 --> 00:31:14,113 combining her get-up-and-go resourcefulness 207 00:31:14,197 --> 00:31:15,823 with his wealth of knowledge. 208 00:31:15,907 --> 00:31:18,117 Look at this. 209 00:31:21,162 --> 00:31:24,873 But by the time the company actually made its first million, 210 00:31:25,208 --> 00:31:30,003 the careerism and money seemed only to embolden their blindness. 211 00:31:30,630 --> 00:31:32,631 Thank you very, very much. 212 00:31:33,675 --> 00:31:36,218 I remember the first family meeting 213 00:31:36,553 --> 00:31:40,013 to let us in on their plans for getting a divorce. 214 00:31:40,765 --> 00:31:44,184 They wanted us to choose which of them we'd live with. 215 00:31:46,187 --> 00:31:48,021 We cried our eyes out. 216 00:31:50,275 --> 00:31:52,484 The divorce never happened, 217 00:31:53,194 --> 00:31:56,363 but the battles and the meetings never stopped. 218 00:31:57,615 --> 00:32:00,701 It wasn't very long before Chris and I shut off. 219 00:32:02,579 --> 00:32:05,372 We'd say "Go ahead. 220 00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:08,625 "Get the divorce." 221 00:32:10,044 --> 00:32:14,967 Jeez. If I struck a match to you I'd have dinner and warmth at the same time. 222 00:32:16,052 --> 00:32:17,720 Where's Jan going? 223 00:32:20,223 --> 00:32:21,849 Well, my friend, 224 00:32:23,393 --> 00:32:25,895 all is not well on the hippie front. 225 00:32:35,572 --> 00:32:38,741 You're an industrious little fucker, aren't you? 226 00:32:39,951 --> 00:32:41,327 Little bit. 227 00:32:46,291 --> 00:32:50,711 It's funny how things happen at particular times. 228 00:32:52,672 --> 00:32:56,133 I've loved that woman for a lot of years, bro. 229 00:32:59,095 --> 00:33:01,764 But, you know, she's got a story. 230 00:33:02,682 --> 00:33:06,936 We've been going through this thing, real quiet. 231 00:33:09,564 --> 00:33:13,651 So when we ran into you yesterday, 232 00:33:14,110 --> 00:33:17,446 this thing that we've been going through real quiet, 233 00:33:18,490 --> 00:33:21,450 she's talking about it. You know what I mean? 234 00:33:21,952 --> 00:33:24,870 - I think I do. - You think what? 235 00:33:27,791 --> 00:33:28,791 Well... 236 00:33:31,878 --> 00:33:35,798 Some people feel like they don't deserve love. 237 00:33:36,174 --> 00:33:40,594 They walk away quietly into empty spaces, 238 00:33:42,222 --> 00:33:45,307 trying to close the gaps to the past. 239 00:33:45,475 --> 00:33:48,561 That's a hell of an insight. Jesus! 240 00:33:51,523 --> 00:33:54,525 - You're not Jesus, are you? - Look who's talking. 241 00:33:54,609 --> 00:33:59,321 You gonna walk across the water and get her back for me, pal? 242 00:34:00,073 --> 00:34:03,784 No. I'm afraid of water. 243 00:34:04,411 --> 00:34:06,036 Always have been. 244 00:34:06,329 --> 00:34:12,167 Something I've gotta get over sometime though, huh? So I will swim in it 245 00:34:12,502 --> 00:34:15,337 if you'll carry the firewood back to camp. 246 00:34:17,632 --> 00:34:19,258 - Shit, yeah. - Yeah? 247 00:34:19,342 --> 00:34:21,844 - Call it carried. - All right. 248 00:34:56,590 --> 00:34:59,383 "The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, 249 00:35:03,096 --> 00:35:06,057 "and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. 250 00:35:06,725 --> 00:35:10,394 "Now, I don't know much about the sea, 251 00:35:11,021 --> 00:35:14,065 "but I do know that that's the way it is here. 252 00:35:15,609 --> 00:35:18,110 "And I also know how important it is in life 253 00:35:18,195 --> 00:35:22,239 "not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong, 254 00:35:23,450 --> 00:35:25,993 "to measure yourself at least once, 255 00:35:27,621 --> 00:35:32,083 "to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, 256 00:35:33,752 --> 00:35:36,337 "facing the blind, deaf stone alone 257 00:35:36,922 --> 00:35:41,092 "with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head." 258 00:35:46,264 --> 00:35:48,557 There's a big wave coming! 259 00:35:52,312 --> 00:35:54,897 Rainey, I'm freezing! 260 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,652 Could you put your arms around me? 261 00:36:21,633 --> 00:36:26,262 The Navy bulldozed and abandoned this base down there, 262 00:36:26,346 --> 00:36:33,352 and all that's left is this huge grid of concrete foundations, or slabs. 263 00:36:34,020 --> 00:36:37,857 - Man, you would dig the Slabs. - You would like it. You would like it. 264 00:36:37,941 --> 00:36:40,151 - If you're on the road still. - You'd love it. 265 00:36:40,235 --> 00:36:41,694 Fellow travelers. 266 00:36:41,778 --> 00:36:44,405 Just living on the cheap under the sun. Can't beat it. 267 00:36:44,489 --> 00:36:45,865 Sounds good. 268 00:36:46,074 --> 00:36:48,701 If you come, I'll make you a proper hat. 269 00:36:48,785 --> 00:36:51,912 - Promise? - I swear to God. 270 00:36:59,631 --> 00:37:02,425 Oh, baby. Baby. 271 00:37:02,843 --> 00:37:05,344 - Stop it. Wait. - Yeah. 272 00:37:08,015 --> 00:37:10,475 - Oh, yes. - Okay. 273 00:37:12,060 --> 00:37:13,811 Let me turn off the light. 274 00:37:55,646 --> 00:37:59,732 - He reminded me of... - I know. 275 00:38:08,575 --> 00:38:11,619 Such is the way of the world 276 00:38:11,703 --> 00:38:14,205 You can never know 277 00:38:17,125 --> 00:38:23,047 Just where to put all your faith And how will it grow? 278 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,510 Gonna rise up 279 00:38:27,594 --> 00:38:32,223 Burning back holes in dark memories 280 00:38:32,975 --> 00:38:35,601 Gonna rise up 281 00:38:35,686 --> 00:38:40,022 Turning mistakes into gold 282 00:38:40,107 --> 00:38:43,776 I mean, you're really good. I mean, you're like 283 00:38:45,028 --> 00:38:49,949 100,000 times better than, like, any apple I've ever had. 284 00:38:51,743 --> 00:38:54,120 I'm not Superman, I'm Supertramp. 285 00:38:56,290 --> 00:38:58,207 You're Superapple. 286 00:38:58,292 --> 00:39:05,006 You're so tasty. You're so organic, so natural. 287 00:39:06,174 --> 00:39:08,301 You're the apple of my eye. 288 00:39:10,637 --> 00:39:17,186 Hey! Such is the passage of time Too fast to fold 289 00:39:18,898 --> 00:39:25,028 And suddenly swallowed by signs Lo and behold 290 00:39:26,322 --> 00:39:29,157 Gonna rise up 291 00:39:29,241 --> 00:39:33,828 Find my direction magnetically 292 00:39:34,496 --> 00:39:37,081 Gonna rise up 293 00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:41,669 Throw down my ace in the hole 294 00:39:43,839 --> 00:39:48,259 In early September, Mom and Dad got a call from the Annandale police 295 00:39:48,344 --> 00:39:50,428 notifying them that Chris' abandoned car 296 00:39:50,512 --> 00:39:53,932 had been identified by the Arizona Highway Patrol. 297 00:39:54,391 --> 00:39:58,603 A group of rare flower hunters stumbled upon it in the desert. 298 00:39:59,939 --> 00:40:03,483 There were no signs that Chris had intended to return to it. 299 00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:06,736 But there wasn't any evidence of struggle, either. 300 00:40:08,656 --> 00:40:11,074 The police thought Chris had chosen to leave it behind 301 00:40:11,158 --> 00:40:13,868 and not that it was taken from him. 302 00:40:17,414 --> 00:40:22,377 The initial comfort that gave Mom and Dad quickly turned 303 00:40:22,461 --> 00:40:27,215 to the realization that Chris was actually trying not to be found. 304 00:41:08,340 --> 00:41:09,757 Strong. 305 00:41:11,010 --> 00:41:15,388 You can do anything. You can go anywhere. 306 00:41:16,098 --> 00:41:22,186 Money, power is an illusion. It's up here. 307 00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:25,273 You can be here. 308 00:41:26,525 --> 00:41:29,068 Me and you. 309 00:41:43,502 --> 00:41:48,089 One, two. No, no, no. 310 00:41:55,806 --> 00:41:57,307 Two, 311 00:42:01,979 --> 00:42:03,146 three... 312 00:42:54,115 --> 00:42:56,407 Don't be shy with it. Get it moving there. That's good. 313 00:42:56,951 --> 00:42:58,785 - That's your speed right here. - Right. 314 00:42:59,995 --> 00:43:02,038 You go too fast, you won't get all the wheat. 315 00:43:02,164 --> 00:43:04,958 That's it, straight line, straight line, little straighter. 316 00:43:05,042 --> 00:43:08,378 See how you're bearing? Just a little straighter. Now you're a combiner. 317 00:43:08,462 --> 00:43:10,547 Wow, look at this view! 318 00:43:10,631 --> 00:43:13,299 But keep your eye on the wheat, here. Make sure you're cutting it. 319 00:43:13,384 --> 00:43:16,594 You can look back here and see how much is coming out, all right. 320 00:43:16,679 --> 00:43:18,304 - How do you feel? - I feel great. 321 00:43:18,389 --> 00:43:21,474 Okay, keep it straight. God bless you. 322 00:43:21,559 --> 00:43:23,852 Make yourself some money, my friend. I'll see you in a little bit. 323 00:43:23,936 --> 00:43:25,019 Okay. 324 00:43:31,735 --> 00:43:35,572 Wayne. Where you going? 325 00:43:54,427 --> 00:43:58,763 Kevin, you know I love you. I'm joking with you. I'm joking. Stop it. 326 00:43:58,890 --> 00:44:02,184 - I'm joking with you. - Mind your own business, Wayne! 327 00:44:02,268 --> 00:44:04,436 - What are you getting so hostile for? - I don't know. 328 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,855 Me and you are on the same side. We're on the same side. 329 00:44:06,939 --> 00:44:10,025 - I'm just tired of the teasing a lot. - Kevin, we're on the same side. 330 00:44:10,109 --> 00:44:14,738 Let me get some... If I want some vagina, let me get it. 331 00:44:14,822 --> 00:44:17,365 - Whoa. He's serious about this. - Let's just play cards. 332 00:44:17,450 --> 00:44:19,034 - Can we just play cards? - Let's go, then. 333 00:44:19,118 --> 00:44:21,870 $2, $4, $6, just put all the money in. 334 00:44:21,954 --> 00:44:23,788 I just wanna see everybody going for broke. 335 00:44:23,873 --> 00:44:26,458 - You want to play? - No. 336 00:44:41,390 --> 00:44:43,225 - Kevin, what have you got for the week? - I got 260. 337 00:44:43,309 --> 00:44:45,018 We're at 260. 338 00:44:51,484 --> 00:44:53,360 We're gonna stay right at 260, that's our number. 339 00:44:53,444 --> 00:44:55,278 We've got 20,000 pounds. 340 00:44:55,363 --> 00:44:59,241 We've got 20,000 pounds we need to get rid of. 341 00:45:02,119 --> 00:45:06,081 Maybe just do all that after lunch before we get back into everything else. 342 00:45:06,165 --> 00:45:09,668 Can we do the $500 reserves... 343 00:45:18,552 --> 00:45:21,096 What do you think about all this? 344 00:45:21,931 --> 00:45:23,515 I like all this. 345 00:45:35,611 --> 00:45:37,988 I don't think he can do it. 346 00:45:41,117 --> 00:45:43,201 Is there a library or bookstore around here 347 00:45:43,286 --> 00:45:45,370 where I can get books on hunting and preserving? 348 00:45:45,454 --> 00:45:47,455 Anything at all to do with hunting or preserving the meat, 349 00:45:47,540 --> 00:45:49,624 smoking it, whatever the hell it is, 350 00:45:49,709 --> 00:45:52,585 talk to Kevin over there. That's your man. 351 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:56,131 Outdoorsman. What's your fascination with all that stuff? 352 00:45:56,215 --> 00:45:57,841 I'm going to Alaska. 353 00:45:58,175 --> 00:46:01,094 Alaska, Alaska? Or city Alaska? 354 00:46:01,178 --> 00:46:03,722 Because they do have markets in Alaska. 355 00:46:03,806 --> 00:46:06,975 The city ofAlaska. Not in Alaska. In the city ofAlaska, they have markets. 356 00:46:07,059 --> 00:46:10,353 No, man. Alaska, Alaska. 357 00:46:10,896 --> 00:46:14,693 I'm gonna be all the way out there, all the way fucking out there. 358 00:46:15,403 --> 00:46:16,611 Just on my own. 359 00:46:16,696 --> 00:46:22,200 You know, no fucking watch, no map, no ax, no nothing. No nothing. 360 00:46:22,285 --> 00:46:24,995 Just be out there. Just be out there in it. 361 00:46:25,079 --> 00:46:29,458 You know, big mountains, rivers, sky, game. 362 00:46:29,542 --> 00:46:33,420 Just be out there in it, you know? In the wild. 363 00:46:33,588 --> 00:46:35,505 - In the wild. - Just wild. 364 00:46:35,590 --> 00:46:37,591 - Yeah. - Just... 365 00:46:37,717 --> 00:46:38,759 What are you doing when we're there? 366 00:46:38,843 --> 00:46:41,053 Now you're in the wild, what are we doing? 367 00:46:41,137 --> 00:46:42,304 You're just living, man. 368 00:46:42,388 --> 00:46:45,807 You're just there, in that moment, in that special place and time. 369 00:46:45,892 --> 00:46:47,100 Yeah. 370 00:46:47,226 --> 00:46:49,770 Maybe when I get back, I can write a book about my travels. 371 00:46:49,854 --> 00:46:50,854 Why not? 372 00:46:50,938 --> 00:46:53,023 You know, about getting out of this sick society. 373 00:46:53,107 --> 00:46:55,901 - Society! - Society! 374 00:46:55,985 --> 00:46:57,569 - Society, man! - Society! 375 00:46:57,653 --> 00:46:59,863 - Society! Society! - Society! 376 00:46:59,947 --> 00:47:02,699 Society, you know! Society! 377 00:47:03,493 --> 00:47:06,161 'Cause you know what I don't understand? 378 00:47:06,245 --> 00:47:10,207 I don't understand why people, why every fucking person 379 00:47:10,291 --> 00:47:13,668 is so bad to each other so fucking often. 380 00:47:13,753 --> 00:47:18,882 It doesn't make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum. 381 00:47:18,966 --> 00:47:22,803 - Well, it just... - What "people" we talking about? 382 00:47:24,430 --> 00:47:29,142 You know, parents, hypocrites, 383 00:47:30,019 --> 00:47:33,480 politicians, pricks. 384 00:47:35,108 --> 00:47:37,567 This is a mistake. 385 00:47:37,652 --> 00:47:41,321 It's a mistake to get too deep into all that kind of stuff. 386 00:47:43,991 --> 00:47:47,244 Alex, you're a hell of a young guy, a hell of a young guy. 387 00:47:48,830 --> 00:47:50,747 But I promise you this. 388 00:47:51,958 --> 00:47:56,545 You're a young guy! Can't be juggling blood and fire all the time! 389 00:47:57,004 --> 00:48:00,257 - You've got to just kind of... - Wayne, what are you talking about? 390 00:48:00,341 --> 00:48:01,758 - What? - I mean... 391 00:48:01,843 --> 00:48:03,093 I'm talking about blood and fire. 392 00:48:03,177 --> 00:48:05,262 We're talking about trying to juggle blood and fire. 393 00:48:05,346 --> 00:48:07,055 Who are you to be giving advice to anybody anyway? 394 00:48:07,140 --> 00:48:08,723 Who am I to be giving advice to anybody? 395 00:48:08,808 --> 00:48:10,434 - Yes. - Well, it's nice to meet you. 396 00:48:10,518 --> 00:48:12,310 - My name is Mr. Happy. - Mr. Happy. 397 00:48:12,395 --> 00:48:14,646 And Mr. Happy sometimes gives advice. 398 00:48:14,730 --> 00:48:16,773 - Alex, please. - I'm sorry. 399 00:48:16,858 --> 00:48:19,484 Sometimes Mr. Happy... Well, Mr. Happy is always happy. 400 00:48:19,569 --> 00:48:21,027 But you know when he's happiest? 401 00:48:21,112 --> 00:48:22,487 - He's not always happy. - When is he happy? 402 00:48:22,572 --> 00:48:25,115 Are you really gonna say that to me? Come on, tell me about it. 403 00:48:25,199 --> 00:48:27,159 I am going to say that to you. 404 00:48:32,041 --> 00:48:34,543 - Now... - Sit down before you hurt yourself. 405 00:48:34,627 --> 00:48:37,838 One thing that you should try to keep your eye on 406 00:48:38,506 --> 00:48:41,550 is what happened in the late 1940s in Roswell. 407 00:48:55,523 --> 00:48:57,733 When a search of tax records revealed that 408 00:48:57,817 --> 00:49:00,402 Chris had given his life savings to charity, 409 00:49:00,737 --> 00:49:05,073 Mom and Dad became what Dad called "mobilized." 410 00:49:05,158 --> 00:49:09,661 They hired a private investigator and notified law enforcement nationwide, 411 00:49:09,954 --> 00:49:12,331 determined to track him down. 412 00:49:12,624 --> 00:49:17,211 I just figured he'd be with gypsies, far from the eyes of the law. 413 00:49:21,299 --> 00:49:23,675 These are those free satellite TV deals. 414 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,678 You're the one who said it, Alex, not me. 415 00:49:28,932 --> 00:49:31,350 You're gonna need something. What kind of gun you got? 416 00:49:31,434 --> 00:49:35,771 I'm probably gonna get like a.22, I think. A.22 caliber rifle. 417 00:49:37,982 --> 00:49:39,441 All right, then. 418 00:49:39,901 --> 00:49:42,694 When you get your kill, time is of the essence. 419 00:49:42,779 --> 00:49:44,863 Now, the first thing you wanna do is make sure 420 00:49:44,948 --> 00:49:47,950 that you got that meat nice and shaved up. 421 00:49:48,117 --> 00:49:50,619 And you don't have a lot of time to do this. This is about an hour or two. 422 00:49:50,703 --> 00:49:54,623 Depending on the weather. Especially if it's hot, you've got less time to do it. 423 00:49:54,707 --> 00:49:58,877 What you do is you want to make sure that them flies don't land on your meat. 424 00:49:58,962 --> 00:50:02,798 Because once them flies start shitting out larvae and them maggots, 425 00:50:03,508 --> 00:50:07,553 you know, those creepy crawlies, it's too late. It's too late. 426 00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,458 You got me. You got me. 427 00:51:23,256 --> 00:51:25,841 I warned Wayne about them little black boxes. 428 00:51:26,009 --> 00:51:29,637 Mr. Westerberg, Scott Baker, FBI. I think you know why we're here. 429 00:51:29,721 --> 00:51:31,889 - Impressive turn-out. - Yeah. 430 00:51:31,973 --> 00:51:35,059 You mind grabbing that zipper for me there? Thank you. 431 00:51:35,810 --> 00:51:36,894 - Let's go. - Sorry, boys. 432 00:51:36,978 --> 00:51:39,229 We're gonna have to shut down for a little while. 433 00:51:39,314 --> 00:51:42,066 Alex, you come back and work for me any time you want. 434 00:51:42,150 --> 00:51:44,860 Gil's got your checks, guys. I shouldn't be away too long. 435 00:51:44,944 --> 00:51:49,823 Remember Alex, no Alaska till spring. South, kid. You wanna head south. 436 00:52:15,392 --> 00:52:17,768 The year Chris graduated high school, 437 00:52:17,852 --> 00:52:21,271 he bought the Datsun used and drove it cross-country. 438 00:52:22,607 --> 00:52:24,775 He stayed away most of the summer. 439 00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,861 Come on. The neighbors are gonna be watching, honey. 440 00:52:27,946 --> 00:52:29,279 Can you spray it? 441 00:52:34,619 --> 00:52:38,789 As soon as I heard he was home, I ran into his room to talk to him. 442 00:52:43,586 --> 00:52:47,172 In California, he'd looked up some old family friends. 443 00:52:47,966 --> 00:52:52,803 He discovered that our parents' stories of how they fell in love and got married 444 00:52:52,887 --> 00:52:55,764 were calculated lies masking an ugly truth. 445 00:52:56,975 --> 00:52:59,643 When they met, Dad was already married. 446 00:53:00,645 --> 00:53:02,896 And even after Chris was born, 447 00:53:02,981 --> 00:53:05,858 Dad had had another son with his first wife, Marcia, 448 00:53:07,193 --> 00:53:09,820 to whom he was still legally married. 449 00:53:11,783 --> 00:53:16,996 This fact suddenly re-defined Chris and me as bastard children. 450 00:53:21,626 --> 00:53:26,380 Dad's arrogance made him conveniently oblivious to the pain he caused. 451 00:53:28,091 --> 00:53:32,178 And Mom, in the shame and embarrassment of a young mistress, 452 00:53:32,804 --> 00:53:35,306 became his accomplice in deceit. 453 00:53:40,729 --> 00:53:44,482 The fragility of crystal is not a weakness but a fineness. 454 00:53:45,650 --> 00:53:48,778 My parents understood that a fine crystal glass had to be cared for 455 00:53:48,862 --> 00:53:51,280 or it may be shattered. 456 00:53:51,364 --> 00:53:55,618 But when it came to my brother, they did not seem to know or care 457 00:53:55,702 --> 00:53:57,953 that their course of secret action 458 00:53:58,038 --> 00:54:02,124 brought the kind of devastation that could cut them. 459 00:54:03,794 --> 00:54:08,422 Their fraudulent marriage and our father's denial of this other son 460 00:54:08,715 --> 00:54:12,885 was, for Chris, a murder of every day's truth. 461 00:54:14,012 --> 00:54:17,848 He felt his whole life turn, like a river suddenly reversing 462 00:54:17,933 --> 00:54:22,019 the direction of its flow, suddenly running uphill. 463 00:54:28,735 --> 00:54:33,322 These revelations struck at the core of Chris' sense of identity. 464 00:54:33,406 --> 00:54:37,451 They made his entire childhood seem like fiction. 465 00:54:39,579 --> 00:54:41,163 Chris never told them he knew 466 00:54:44,584 --> 00:54:47,127 and made me promise silence, as well. 467 00:54:47,921 --> 00:54:50,172 I can't afford four. Who's gonna pay for the fourth one? 468 00:54:50,257 --> 00:54:53,425 Bryan can't afford four. Does it matter? 469 00:54:54,261 --> 00:54:55,803 Can I help you? 470 00:54:55,887 --> 00:54:58,347 Yeah. If I wanted to paddle down the river, 471 00:54:58,431 --> 00:55:00,599 where's the best place to launch out of? 472 00:55:00,684 --> 00:55:01,851 Hang on a second. 473 00:55:01,935 --> 00:55:05,145 "To launch out of?" What's your experience level? 474 00:55:06,273 --> 00:55:09,567 - Not much. - Any? Do you have a permit? 475 00:55:09,651 --> 00:55:11,694 A permit? Permit for what? 476 00:55:12,237 --> 00:55:14,572 You can't paddle down the river without a permit. 477 00:55:14,656 --> 00:55:17,032 If you want, you can apply for one here, get some experience, 478 00:55:17,117 --> 00:55:19,034 and I'll put you on the wait-list. 479 00:55:19,119 --> 00:55:21,787 No, I got this guy in here. We'll figure it out. 480 00:55:21,872 --> 00:55:24,456 There's a wait-list to paddle down a river? 481 00:55:24,541 --> 00:55:25,958 That's right. 482 00:55:26,251 --> 00:55:28,502 - Yeah, it's gonna be... - Well, how long do I have to wait? 483 00:55:28,587 --> 00:55:30,045 Yeah, hang on a second. 484 00:55:30,130 --> 00:55:34,176 Now, the deal is it's gonna be me and you 485 00:55:34,261 --> 00:55:37,597 or it's gonna be me, you and her. 486 00:55:37,681 --> 00:55:42,268 Next available is May 17th, 2003. 487 00:55:43,145 --> 00:55:47,148 Great. Done. The three of us, then. 488 00:55:47,357 --> 00:55:48,816 Twelve years? 489 00:55:49,276 --> 00:55:51,235 - What's that? - Twelve years? 490 00:55:51,403 --> 00:55:52,987 To paddle down a river. 491 00:55:53,071 --> 00:55:54,906 Let me call you back. 492 00:55:55,532 --> 00:55:57,366 You can do that, 493 00:55:57,451 --> 00:56:00,578 or you can join a commercial raft trip, go with a licensed guide. 494 00:56:00,662 --> 00:56:02,413 They may have some last-minute cancellations, 495 00:56:02,497 --> 00:56:05,041 but that's gonna cost you $2,000. 496 00:56:06,835 --> 00:56:08,586 Thank you very much. 497 00:56:46,333 --> 00:56:47,959 Helmet, man! 498 00:57:27,416 --> 00:57:28,624 I'm Supertramp! 499 00:57:41,722 --> 00:57:45,099 "If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, 500 00:57:45,851 --> 00:57:48,436 "the possibility of life is destroyed." 501 00:58:18,969 --> 00:58:20,428 Hello! 502 00:58:22,890 --> 00:58:24,057 Hello. 503 00:58:24,767 --> 00:58:27,226 Come. Join us. 504 00:58:28,479 --> 00:58:29,979 We have hot dogs. 505 00:58:45,370 --> 00:58:46,913 - I'm Mads. - Mads? 506 00:58:46,997 --> 00:58:48,581 - Mads. Hi. - Mads. 507 00:58:48,665 --> 00:58:50,500 - Alex. - Hi, Alex. 508 00:58:50,584 --> 00:58:52,627 Hey. I'm Sonja. 509 00:58:53,420 --> 00:58:55,004 Hey, Alex. 510 00:58:56,423 --> 00:59:00,635 We are from Copenhagen, and you are from the rapids. 511 00:59:01,512 --> 00:59:02,637 I am. 512 00:59:09,770 --> 00:59:11,938 - You're crazy! You're crazy, man. - My God! 513 00:59:12,022 --> 00:59:15,066 Sonja, get away from him. Get away from him. He's crazy! Look, he's crazy. 514 00:59:15,150 --> 00:59:17,360 I'll make you a hot dog. One minute. 515 00:59:20,405 --> 00:59:23,616 I love this. Don't you love this? 516 00:59:23,826 --> 00:59:27,203 You know, this is nature. 517 00:59:36,338 --> 00:59:38,214 So where are you going? 518 00:59:38,882 --> 00:59:41,425 - I haven't decided yet. - Really? 519 00:59:41,510 --> 00:59:44,846 Well, we like it here very much. And it's so good to meet you, man. 520 00:59:44,930 --> 00:59:46,055 So good to meet you. 521 00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:50,184 You know, we went to Los Angeles, and then we went to Las Vegas. 522 00:59:50,269 --> 00:59:55,148 Oh, yeah. Las Vegas is very nice. The universe is so good. 523 01:00:00,070 --> 01:00:02,864 - The universe is very good. - You know what I mean? 524 01:00:02,948 --> 01:00:05,199 - Yeah. - The whole universe. 525 01:00:05,367 --> 01:00:09,662 Just the place. The city, she means. Her English is not very good. 526 01:00:09,790 --> 01:00:14,752 But then we came here. I don't care if she's a little stupid, but I like her. 527 01:00:15,921 --> 01:00:18,506 You know you can actually go all the way down to Mexico from here. 528 01:00:18,591 --> 01:00:19,632 - Yeah? - Yeah. 529 01:00:19,717 --> 01:00:24,262 You can take the kayak, and you can take it all the way around 530 01:00:24,346 --> 01:00:26,723 down to Hoover Dam, you can sail around, 531 01:00:26,807 --> 01:00:31,269 and then from there you can take the river all the way down to Mexico! 532 01:00:31,729 --> 01:00:33,438 - Really? - Yeah. 533 01:00:37,193 --> 01:00:39,110 Come on, come on! 534 01:00:39,612 --> 01:00:41,946 She's so slow sometimes. 535 01:00:42,948 --> 01:00:46,492 - Here's the map. - But I like her. 536 01:00:49,371 --> 01:00:51,289 - Here. Hoover Dam. - Okay. 537 01:00:51,498 --> 01:00:53,750 About 330 kilometers, I think. 538 01:00:53,834 --> 01:00:56,711 - Miles? - Yeah, miles, about 200 miles. 539 01:00:56,795 --> 01:01:00,882 - Two hundred miles. - Two hundred miles. Yeah, man. 540 01:01:01,383 --> 01:01:02,842 You know, I wonder if I could paddle 541 01:01:02,927 --> 01:01:05,053 all the way down that into the Gulf of California. 542 01:01:05,137 --> 01:01:07,972 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. You know, I will go with you. 543 01:01:08,474 --> 01:01:10,975 I will go with you. We leave Sonja here, and then we take the kayak. 544 01:01:11,060 --> 01:01:13,311 No, no. We go all the way down into Mexico. 545 01:01:13,395 --> 01:01:18,149 You know, because in every man's heart, there is a Mexican mistress. 546 01:01:34,875 --> 01:01:36,626 Oh, man. 547 01:01:37,127 --> 01:01:39,420 I've gotta go, you guys. I'm really sorry. I gotta go. 548 01:01:39,505 --> 01:01:41,381 - What's going on? - Why? 549 01:01:41,465 --> 01:01:45,093 The river patrol's after me. I'm actually not supposed to be here, you know. 550 01:01:45,177 --> 01:01:46,761 You have to have, like, a permit, 551 01:01:46,845 --> 01:01:50,515 it's like a government thing to be here, and I didn't get one. 552 01:01:50,599 --> 01:01:52,475 If you see anybody, any of the rangers or anything, 553 01:01:52,559 --> 01:01:54,435 just tell them you didn't see me, okay? 554 01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:55,603 Okay. 555 01:01:55,688 --> 01:02:00,233 Okay, again, I'm really, really sorry, man. I wish I could stay, you know. 556 01:02:00,317 --> 01:02:01,317 Take care, man. 557 01:02:01,402 --> 01:02:02,443 - All right. Take care, Mads. - Nice to meet you. 558 01:02:02,528 --> 01:02:05,446 - Bye, Alex. - I wish... I wish I could stay. 559 01:02:05,531 --> 01:02:07,865 Say hello to Mexico from me. 560 01:02:10,286 --> 01:02:12,453 Bye, Alex! 561 01:02:44,739 --> 01:02:47,657 It would be Christmas in a couple of months, 562 01:02:48,034 --> 01:02:51,619 and the last news we'd had was about his car being found. 563 01:02:52,163 --> 01:02:56,541 I woke up a couple of days ago, and for the first time, it bothered me 564 01:02:56,751 --> 01:03:00,170 that it wasn't only my parents who hadn't heard from Chris. 565 01:03:00,254 --> 01:03:01,379 Honey? 566 01:03:01,464 --> 01:03:06,009 It's me. I'm sorry. Everything that happened, it's my fault. 567 01:03:07,595 --> 01:03:09,512 Give me another chance. 568 01:03:11,265 --> 01:03:14,768 Please do that... Come on. Do that for me. 569 01:03:17,897 --> 01:03:20,190 Come on. They're calling for another quarter right now, 570 01:03:20,274 --> 01:03:22,901 and I ain't got it, so will you hurry it up? 571 01:03:24,236 --> 01:03:26,321 Come on now, don't hang up on me. 572 01:03:27,239 --> 01:03:30,200 Hey, here's a quarter. 573 01:03:30,284 --> 01:03:31,618 Thank you. 574 01:03:31,869 --> 01:03:35,663 There's a quarter just happened out of the sky, 575 01:03:35,748 --> 01:03:39,125 so I'm on here talking to you again. 576 01:03:40,336 --> 01:03:43,838 I got the quarter now, let's... No, no, no, no, no! 577 01:03:48,677 --> 01:03:52,514 I wondered why he hadn't tried to call in case I might answer. 578 01:03:52,807 --> 01:03:55,350 He could've hung up if it wasn't me. 579 01:03:56,519 --> 01:04:00,146 Why wouldn't he send a letter, maybe through a friend? 580 01:04:00,231 --> 01:04:01,856 It hurt a little, 581 01:04:04,276 --> 01:04:06,903 but I told myself it was good. 582 01:04:08,989 --> 01:04:12,826 He knew I loved him enough to bear with the not knowing. 583 01:04:14,954 --> 01:04:19,290 And it helped me remember that there was something more than rebellion, 584 01:04:19,583 --> 01:04:22,168 more than anger that was driving him. 585 01:04:28,676 --> 01:04:32,470 Chris had always been driven, had always been an adventurer. 586 01:04:46,694 --> 01:04:48,528 When he was four years old, 587 01:04:48,612 --> 01:04:53,660 he once wandered six blocks away from home at 3:00 in the morning. 588 01:05:00,376 --> 01:05:02,669 He was found in a neighbor's kitchen 589 01:05:02,753 --> 01:05:06,006 up on a chair, digging through their candy drawer. 590 01:05:08,468 --> 01:05:13,346 Whatever drawer he was opening now must have something pretty sweet in it. 591 01:07:11,634 --> 01:07:15,554 - You lived in a cave for 36 days? - Yes, sir. 592 01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:17,681 And how did you get into Mexico in the first place? 593 01:07:17,765 --> 01:07:20,350 Through the spillway at Morelos Dam. 594 01:07:20,810 --> 01:07:22,811 River dries out pretty quickly beyond there, doesn't it? 595 01:07:22,895 --> 01:07:27,691 Yeah. Turns into a maze of irrigation canals, thanks to our dams up north. 596 01:07:28,109 --> 01:07:32,029 So I ported my kayak over the desert, and I hitched down to Golfo. 597 01:07:33,197 --> 01:07:37,367 But after a few weeks, a sandstorm came up and blew the kayak away. 598 01:07:37,702 --> 01:07:40,037 So I walked back north. Here I am. 599 01:07:40,121 --> 01:07:43,832 Well, you just can't be crossing the borders without any identification. 600 01:07:43,916 --> 01:07:45,792 - Are we understood? - Yes, sir. 601 01:07:45,877 --> 01:07:48,337 I've eaten enough sand to send me back to the city anyway. 602 01:07:48,421 --> 01:07:51,131 All right. Sit tight. I'll be right back. 603 01:07:52,550 --> 01:07:56,595 Some may ask, "Why act now? Why not wait?" 604 01:07:57,388 --> 01:08:01,141 The answer is clear. The world could wait no longer. 605 01:10:27,373 --> 01:10:29,082 Hi. Do you have the time? 606 01:10:29,542 --> 01:10:31,001 - Time? - Time? 607 01:10:31,085 --> 01:10:32,336 Yeah. 608 01:10:33,630 --> 01:10:35,047 Okay. 609 01:11:15,964 --> 01:11:17,339 Front and back. 610 01:11:17,423 --> 01:11:21,426 I don't have any more clipboards, so get one from the other fellas. 611 01:11:21,678 --> 01:11:23,178 - Next. - Hi. 612 01:11:23,429 --> 01:11:25,806 Can you tell me how to get an ID? 613 01:11:25,974 --> 01:11:28,725 - Did you lose your identification, sir? - Yeah. 614 01:11:28,810 --> 01:11:31,395 No birth certificate? Nothing? 615 01:11:31,646 --> 01:11:32,771 Ouch. 616 01:11:33,064 --> 01:11:36,817 All right. Well, you're gonna have to work that out with the DMV. 617 01:11:36,901 --> 01:11:41,196 You can catch them in the morning. The closest one is Montebello, 618 01:11:42,198 --> 01:11:44,199 and we can help you with the bus voucher. 619 01:11:44,284 --> 01:11:46,368 So just come to this desk when you're ready for the voucher. 620 01:11:46,452 --> 01:11:48,080 - Okay. - What's your name? 621 01:11:48,164 --> 01:11:51,834 - Alexander Supertramp. - What's that? 622 01:11:51,918 --> 01:11:57,798 - Alexander Supertramp. - Supertramp. Really? 623 01:11:58,049 --> 01:11:59,049 Yeah. 624 01:12:00,176 --> 01:12:03,929 Okay, so I'm gonna look for you, Supertramp. I got something for you. 625 01:12:06,433 --> 01:12:08,851 - Here you go, Supertramp. - Thank you very much. 626 01:12:08,935 --> 01:12:10,227 Okay, baby. 627 01:12:10,312 --> 01:12:13,355 - And one last thing. - Yeah. 628 01:12:15,275 --> 01:12:17,693 Do you have a bed for me? I'm sorry... 629 01:12:17,777 --> 01:12:21,572 Oh, no. Sure, I got a bed for you. Sign your name right here. 630 01:12:21,656 --> 01:12:26,869 You fill this out. And I'll set you right up. Now, I'm out of... 631 01:12:26,953 --> 01:12:29,788 - What's going on back there? - I got it. I'm sorry. 632 01:12:29,873 --> 01:12:33,250 - Come on, now. Work with me. - All right. Thanks, ma'am. 633 01:12:33,335 --> 01:12:35,669 Supertramp, huh? 634 01:12:38,590 --> 01:12:40,507 You know the drill. 635 01:13:13,750 --> 01:13:15,292 Move it! 636 01:14:02,882 --> 01:14:05,509 Thanks, but I'm not gonna need that bed after all. 637 01:14:05,593 --> 01:14:07,805 You leaving us so soon? Supertramp! 638 01:15:11,495 --> 01:15:15,831 Show me your face. I never, ever, ever forget a face. 639 01:15:16,249 --> 01:15:19,251 If I see yours again, I won't arrest you, I'll kill you. 640 01:15:19,336 --> 01:15:21,212 This is the goddamned railroad, 641 01:15:21,296 --> 01:15:22,922 and we will do whatever we have to do 642 01:15:23,006 --> 01:15:25,424 to keep you freeloaders from violating our liability. 643 01:15:25,509 --> 01:15:26,801 Yes, sir. 644 01:15:30,514 --> 01:15:32,181 You got any ID? 645 01:15:33,517 --> 01:15:36,727 - No, sir. - Of course you don't. 646 01:15:37,604 --> 01:15:39,396 Last time, my friend. 647 01:15:40,524 --> 01:15:41,857 All clear. 648 01:15:49,866 --> 01:15:51,242 Good boy! 649 01:16:09,302 --> 01:16:12,388 Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. Finally! 650 01:16:15,600 --> 01:16:18,769 It's a mystery to me 651 01:16:19,604 --> 01:16:24,984 We have a greed With which we have agreed 652 01:16:26,403 --> 01:16:31,242 You think you have to want more than you need 653 01:16:32,452 --> 01:16:37,165 Until you have it all you won't be freed 654 01:16:40,085 --> 01:16:45,506 Society, you're a crazy breed 655 01:16:46,049 --> 01:16:52,013 I hope you're not lonely without me 656 01:16:55,434 --> 01:17:00,479 When you want more than you have You think you need 657 01:17:01,398 --> 01:17:06,277 And when you think more than you want Your thoughts begin to bleed 658 01:17:07,821 --> 01:17:12,783 I think I need to find a bigger place 659 01:17:13,285 --> 01:17:15,661 'Cause when you have more than you think 660 01:17:15,746 --> 01:17:17,955 You need more space 661 01:17:21,543 --> 01:17:26,964 Society, you're a crazy breed 662 01:17:27,466 --> 01:17:32,428 I hope you're not lonely without me 663 01:17:33,347 --> 01:17:38,392 Society, crazy indeed 664 01:17:39,311 --> 01:17:45,650 I hope you're not lonely without me 665 01:18:35,033 --> 01:18:36,492 Thanks a lot. 666 01:18:45,711 --> 01:18:48,673 In the letters Chris wrote me from college, 667 01:18:49,216 --> 01:18:53,428 it was clear his anguish and problems with Mom and Dad had continued. 668 01:19:02,896 --> 01:19:04,772 He said I was the only person in the world 669 01:19:04,857 --> 01:19:07,483 who could possibly understand what he had to say. 670 01:19:07,568 --> 01:19:10,570 With whose money are you buying all these goddamn presents? 671 01:19:10,654 --> 01:19:13,072 I work. The only reason I'm not talking is because 672 01:19:13,157 --> 01:19:15,825 you're wandering around acting like the big-shot flirt with everybody. 673 01:19:15,909 --> 01:19:19,495 I am making the contacts for this business to work! 674 01:19:19,621 --> 01:19:21,581 You don't care at all about what I do! 675 01:19:21,665 --> 01:19:23,499 I don't even want to talk to you about it anymore! 676 01:19:23,584 --> 01:19:26,669 Don't you walk away from me, woman! Woman! 677 01:19:27,296 --> 01:19:29,672 Kids! Look what your dad is doing to me! 678 01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:33,176 For God's sake, look what your mother is making me do! 679 01:19:33,260 --> 01:19:35,261 Fuck you! I hate you! 680 01:19:37,639 --> 01:19:40,808 There ain't gonna be no party. I'm gonna cancel Christmas this year. 681 01:19:40,934 --> 01:19:44,187 Cancel Christmas? Who do you think you are? God? 682 01:19:44,271 --> 01:19:46,105 That's right! I'm God! 683 01:19:46,190 --> 01:19:49,025 Well, you're not God. You can't cancel Christmas. 684 01:19:49,276 --> 01:19:50,610 That's bullshit! 685 01:21:46,729 --> 01:21:48,229 We're 10 deep! 686 01:21:56,113 --> 01:22:00,909 Alex, I don't mean to be on you about everything. You're doing a great job. 687 01:22:01,118 --> 01:22:04,829 I wanna keep you on and we all wanna help you get to Alaska, 688 01:22:05,498 --> 01:22:08,124 but you've got to start wearing socks. 689 01:22:16,050 --> 01:22:19,761 With almost a year having passed since Chris' disappearance, 690 01:22:20,304 --> 01:22:23,681 my parents' anger, their desperation, 691 01:22:23,766 --> 01:22:26,100 their guilt was giving way to pain. 692 01:22:29,104 --> 01:22:31,731 And pain seemed to bring them closer. 693 01:22:34,068 --> 01:22:36,277 Even their faces had changed. 694 01:23:02,471 --> 01:23:04,931 She convinces herself it's Chris, 695 01:23:06,308 --> 01:23:09,644 that it's her son whenever she passes a stray. 696 01:23:11,438 --> 01:23:13,815 And I fear for the mother in her. 697 01:23:17,486 --> 01:23:22,490 Instincts that seem to sense the threat of a loss so huge 698 01:23:22,575 --> 01:23:27,289 and irrevocable that the mind balks at taking its measure. 699 01:23:29,500 --> 01:23:34,087 I'd begin to wonder if I can understand all that Chris is saying any longer, 700 01:23:37,258 --> 01:23:40,218 but I catch myself and remember that 701 01:23:40,303 --> 01:23:42,679 these are not the parents he grew up with, 702 01:23:43,973 --> 01:23:48,602 but people softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss. 703 01:23:53,190 --> 01:23:58,278 Still, everything Chris is saying has to be said. 704 01:24:00,031 --> 01:24:03,908 And I trust for him that everything he is doing has to be done. 705 01:24:05,703 --> 01:24:07,329 This is our life. 706 01:25:15,022 --> 01:25:18,650 Big game. Very big game. 707 01:25:19,110 --> 01:25:20,276 Got it. 708 01:27:11,224 --> 01:27:12,599 Damn it! 709 01:27:16,938 --> 01:27:18,271 Get off! 710 01:28:01,190 --> 01:28:04,609 "Hey, Dad, can I light the barbeque, please, Dad, this time?" 711 01:28:05,238 --> 01:28:06,697 "Well, Son, you can go get the lighter fluid." 712 01:28:06,781 --> 01:28:09,283 "Come on, Dad. Please, Dad, please?" 713 01:28:09,951 --> 01:28:12,536 "Well, why not, Walt? That sounds like a good idea..." 714 01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:14,538 "Shut up, Carine! Shut up, Carine! 715 01:28:14,622 --> 01:28:19,126 "No, Billie. I told you once. Don't make me tell you again. Okay? 716 01:28:19,460 --> 01:28:21,128 "Okay? 717 01:28:21,379 --> 01:28:23,046 "You hear me? You hear me, woman? 718 01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:26,133 "You hear me, woman? Huh? You hear me, woman?" 719 01:28:28,469 --> 01:28:33,891 "Sorry. Sorry, Walt. I'm sorry." 720 01:28:47,113 --> 01:28:48,322 Shit. 721 01:28:54,370 --> 01:28:59,124 No! No! Damn it! 722 01:29:02,003 --> 01:29:04,671 God damn it! Fuck! 723 01:29:48,049 --> 01:29:53,136 "There was clearly felt the presence of a force not bound to be kind to man. 724 01:29:54,389 --> 01:29:57,933 "It was a place of heathenism and superstitious rites, 725 01:29:59,268 --> 01:30:02,688 "to be inhabited by men nearer of kin to the rocks 726 01:30:02,897 --> 01:30:05,440 "and to the wild animals than we." 727 01:30:28,091 --> 01:30:29,341 Sunni. 728 01:30:29,843 --> 01:30:32,886 Hey, Sunni! Come here, baby. 729 01:30:38,435 --> 01:30:41,061 No. No! 730 01:31:14,679 --> 01:31:18,015 But now all I'm focused on is just Alaska. 731 01:31:18,099 --> 01:31:19,683 - Yeah. - Alaska. 732 01:31:21,644 --> 01:31:24,646 All right. Let's hear it for Insane Cain! 733 01:31:28,109 --> 01:31:31,236 Let's give it up for Slab City's own Tracy T! 734 01:31:39,954 --> 01:31:41,872 Hey. My name's Tracy. 735 01:31:41,956 --> 01:31:43,749 - Tracy! - Yeah! 736 01:32:13,822 --> 01:32:16,448 Jack London is king. 737 01:32:17,575 --> 01:32:19,701 Hey, you gonna stay with us long? 738 01:32:20,495 --> 01:32:22,663 Well, I'm waiting on a check from my last job 739 01:32:22,747 --> 01:32:25,124 to come into Salton City the day after Christmas. 740 01:32:25,208 --> 01:32:28,001 I've got to start thinking about getting ready for Alaska. 741 01:32:28,086 --> 01:32:32,673 When the sun gets a little lower tonight, I'm going to start a calisthenics routine. 742 01:32:33,007 --> 01:32:35,759 After the check comes in, I think I'm gonna try to find 743 01:32:35,844 --> 01:32:39,138 some big old mountains I can climb every day until spring comes. 744 01:32:39,222 --> 01:32:41,390 I've got to see how far the money's gonna go. 745 01:32:41,474 --> 01:32:45,062 I've still got a lot of supplies to pick up before spring. 746 01:32:45,897 --> 01:32:50,442 So, I might get anotherjob or I might be okay. 747 01:32:50,986 --> 01:32:55,156 Hell, we'd give you a little something for the days you spend in the booth here. 748 01:32:55,240 --> 01:32:57,741 I'm not taking any money from you, Rainey. 749 01:32:58,201 --> 01:33:01,120 It's been a real great twist meeting you two. 750 01:33:01,204 --> 01:33:03,414 You two look like you're doing good. 751 01:33:03,707 --> 01:33:05,666 - We are doing good. - Yeah? 752 01:33:05,750 --> 01:33:06,959 We're doing real good. 753 01:33:07,669 --> 01:33:10,671 Speaking of which, don't you think 754 01:33:10,755 --> 01:33:15,092 you ought to introduce yourself to our little Joni Mitchell over there? 755 01:33:19,514 --> 01:33:20,514 I... 756 01:33:55,300 --> 01:33:57,885 - Hi. - Hi. 757 01:34:03,516 --> 01:34:05,476 You selling these books? 758 01:34:05,769 --> 01:34:08,604 I am. We are. 759 01:34:09,856 --> 01:34:11,190 He was. 760 01:34:14,945 --> 01:34:16,487 I like to read. 761 01:34:17,322 --> 01:34:19,823 - Do you? - Yeah. 762 01:34:20,492 --> 01:34:22,326 That's good. 763 01:34:23,495 --> 01:34:27,206 I heard you play your song last night. 764 01:34:28,416 --> 01:34:33,170 - I'm terrible. - You are not terrible. You sing sweet. 765 01:34:34,005 --> 01:34:35,339 Thank you. 766 01:34:38,718 --> 01:34:41,887 I was gonna go take a walk to Salvation Mountain. 767 01:34:42,555 --> 01:34:45,349 - You wanna go? - Okay. 768 01:34:53,358 --> 01:34:56,026 - Hi. - Hi. Alex. 769 01:34:56,987 --> 01:35:02,741 I'd like to show you around up here. I've been here since 1984, more or less. 770 01:35:05,539 --> 01:35:07,290 A lot of tourists come in here 771 01:35:07,374 --> 01:35:11,168 and they look at that car door up there. They really like it. 772 01:35:12,045 --> 01:35:16,048 And I found car doors and put them up there and I bolted it all in. 773 01:35:16,133 --> 01:35:17,633 Where did you get the telephone poles? 774 01:35:17,718 --> 01:35:20,553 A lot of people in the valley just love me a lot. 775 01:35:20,679 --> 01:35:23,222 Everybody now, I think, in the whole world is just loving me. 776 01:35:23,307 --> 01:35:26,559 And I want to have the wisdom to love them back. 777 01:35:27,561 --> 01:35:30,187 And that's about it. So I really get excited. 778 01:35:30,272 --> 01:35:31,981 You really believe in love, then. 779 01:35:32,065 --> 01:35:34,400 Yeah. Totally. 780 01:35:35,068 --> 01:35:39,989 This is a love story that is staggering to everybody in the whole world. 781 01:35:40,073 --> 01:35:42,908 That God really loves us a lot. 782 01:35:43,952 --> 01:35:45,453 Does that answer that? 783 01:35:45,537 --> 01:35:47,163 - Yeah. - Good. 784 01:35:49,124 --> 01:35:53,377 I really love it here. I think the freedom of this place is just so beautiful. 785 01:35:53,462 --> 01:35:57,423 To me, I wouldn't move for $10 million, unless I had to. 786 01:35:59,217 --> 01:36:02,928 So I'm contented here in the desert, and I'm living where I want to live. 787 01:36:03,138 --> 01:36:08,684 And I think good gets better. And I think those great big tanks there 788 01:36:08,769 --> 01:36:12,396 were the sewer plant for the Marine base in World War II. 789 01:36:14,983 --> 01:36:17,693 If you want to, you can try putting your hands in there. 790 01:36:17,778 --> 01:36:20,946 And I'm gonna do the same thing, just for the fun. 791 01:36:21,615 --> 01:36:23,532 You're doing real good. 792 01:36:26,953 --> 01:36:30,289 You can wipe your hands off on my shirt if you want. 793 01:36:50,644 --> 01:36:53,145 This is starting to make me hungry. 794 01:36:53,939 --> 01:36:57,983 I was just a couple of years older than Tracy when I got pregnant. 795 01:37:01,822 --> 01:37:03,447 - Wow. - Yeah. 796 01:37:05,242 --> 01:37:09,370 Yeah, I thought my husband and I were going to just make peace on Earth 797 01:37:10,163 --> 01:37:12,957 and babies and love and stay together forever, 798 01:37:15,502 --> 01:37:18,337 and that didn't quite work out that way. 799 01:37:18,422 --> 01:37:21,006 He left me. 800 01:37:25,180 --> 01:37:26,889 So, I... 801 01:37:28,851 --> 01:37:29,892 Anyway, whatever, 802 01:37:29,977 --> 01:37:35,022 but I ended up raising Reno on my own. That's my boy, his name's Reno. 803 01:37:36,650 --> 01:37:38,359 Then I met Rainey. 804 01:37:39,528 --> 01:37:42,572 That was sweet. It was really good for a while. It's just... 805 01:37:47,619 --> 01:37:52,248 You know, Reno was a teenager already by then, 806 01:37:52,374 --> 01:37:55,543 and he was just on his way to becoming his own man. 807 01:38:00,174 --> 01:38:05,678 And I haven't even heard from him in two years. 808 01:38:09,391 --> 01:38:11,642 I don't even know where he is. 809 01:38:12,186 --> 01:38:14,604 I hope I get to meet him sometime. 810 01:38:17,024 --> 01:38:19,400 Do your folks know where you are? 811 01:38:24,323 --> 01:38:27,408 Hey, guys? Dinner's ready if you guys are hungry. 812 01:38:27,493 --> 01:38:31,245 Yeah, we are. We're hungry. 813 01:38:34,791 --> 01:38:36,417 I'll be all right. 814 01:38:47,262 --> 01:38:48,971 You want to come and eat? 815 01:38:49,556 --> 01:38:52,975 Or we'll sit here. Because I will sit here with you all night. 816 01:38:58,232 --> 01:38:59,774 Let's go. Let's go. 817 01:39:02,402 --> 01:39:04,487 Guys, come on. It's getting cold. 818 01:39:08,116 --> 01:39:13,287 Check this out. Tawdry? Denise, that sounds like your cup of tea. 819 01:39:43,068 --> 01:39:47,073 That poor girl is about ready to vault herself onto a fence post. 820 01:39:47,908 --> 01:39:52,245 And here you are, the monk of Jack fucking LaLanne. 821 01:39:59,128 --> 01:40:03,172 - So Jan talked to you about Reno, huh? - Yeah. 822 01:40:06,176 --> 01:40:09,887 Children can be pretty harsh when it comes to their parents. 823 01:40:10,431 --> 01:40:12,640 You planning on seeing yours? 824 01:40:14,893 --> 01:40:17,228 I've only got one plan, Rainey. 825 01:40:18,314 --> 01:40:20,982 That would be Alaska? 826 01:40:21,191 --> 01:40:22,609 Alaska. 827 01:40:34,121 --> 01:40:35,288 Hello? 828 01:40:36,957 --> 01:40:40,001 - Merry Christmas. - Come in here. 829 01:40:49,136 --> 01:40:51,220 My parents went into town. 830 01:40:52,890 --> 01:40:53,890 No. 831 01:40:54,224 --> 01:40:57,393 Yeah. They went to call my grandma for Christmas. 832 01:40:58,062 --> 01:41:00,229 No, I mean we can't do that. 833 01:41:01,440 --> 01:41:02,690 Why not? 834 01:41:09,907 --> 01:41:11,491 How old are you? 835 01:41:12,409 --> 01:41:13,701 Eighteen. 836 01:41:16,789 --> 01:41:18,289 Seventeen. 837 01:41:20,125 --> 01:41:22,085 What year were you born? 838 01:41:28,926 --> 01:41:30,593 So I'm 16. 839 01:41:44,692 --> 01:41:47,110 You want to do something together? 840 01:43:01,103 --> 01:43:05,774 You can send mail to this address in South Dakota. 841 01:43:07,401 --> 01:43:11,780 I don't know when I'm going to get it, but I'll get it. 842 01:43:16,076 --> 01:43:17,869 You're pretty magic. 843 01:43:17,953 --> 01:43:20,622 - Yeah? - Yeah. 844 01:43:22,541 --> 01:43:24,209 And just remember 845 01:43:24,585 --> 01:43:29,088 if you want something in life, reach out and grab it. 846 01:43:50,402 --> 01:43:52,445 - You take care, kiddo. - You, too. 847 01:43:54,740 --> 01:43:57,826 - New Year's resolution? - We'll work on it. 848 01:45:05,646 --> 01:45:08,481 Just get your pack and get on out of here, okay? 849 01:45:09,609 --> 01:45:11,985 I don't think I could take a hug. 850 01:45:26,667 --> 01:45:27,667 Hey. 851 01:45:40,264 --> 01:45:41,348 Bye! 852 01:45:56,197 --> 01:46:00,784 A year and a half had passed in what Dad called "suspended animation." 853 01:46:08,250 --> 01:46:14,214 The weight of Chris' disappearance had begun to lay down on me full-length. 854 01:46:25,601 --> 01:46:27,852 "I have lived through much, 855 01:46:28,896 --> 01:46:32,649 "and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. 856 01:46:36,445 --> 01:46:39,197 "A quiet secluded life in the country, 857 01:46:41,075 --> 01:46:45,831 "with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, 858 01:46:47,583 --> 01:46:51,086 "and who are not accustomed to have it done to them. 859 01:46:52,922 --> 01:46:56,049 "And work which one hopes may be of some use. 860 01:46:57,677 --> 01:47:02,014 "Then rest, nature, books, music, 861 01:47:02,724 --> 01:47:04,766 "love for one's neighbor. 862 01:47:08,688 --> 01:47:11,148 "Such is my idea of happiness. 863 01:47:14,068 --> 01:47:20,657 "And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, 864 01:47:21,826 --> 01:47:23,785 "and children perhaps. 865 01:47:25,663 --> 01:47:28,498 "What more can the heart of a man desire?" 866 01:47:36,799 --> 01:47:41,219 Comes the morning when I can feel 867 01:47:41,304 --> 01:47:45,682 That there's nothing left to be concealed 868 01:47:45,767 --> 01:47:50,228 Moving on A scene surreal 869 01:47:50,313 --> 01:47:56,401 But my heart will never Never be far from here 870 01:47:56,486 --> 01:48:00,781 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 871 01:48:00,865 --> 01:48:05,368 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 872 01:48:05,453 --> 01:48:10,082 I leave here believing More than I had 873 01:48:10,166 --> 01:48:13,835 And there's a reason I will 874 01:48:13,920 --> 01:48:18,131 A reason I'll be back 875 01:48:21,719 --> 01:48:26,098 As I walk the hemisphere 876 01:48:26,182 --> 01:48:30,560 I got my wish to up and disappear 877 01:48:30,645 --> 01:48:34,981 I've been wounded I've been healed 878 01:48:35,066 --> 01:48:38,193 Now for landing I've been 879 01:48:38,277 --> 01:48:41,196 Landing I've been cleared 880 01:48:41,280 --> 01:48:45,826 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 881 01:48:45,910 --> 01:48:50,288 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 882 01:48:50,373 --> 01:48:54,793 I leave here believing More than I had 883 01:48:54,877 --> 01:48:58,922 This love has got no ceiling 884 01:52:06,614 --> 01:52:08,282 Where's your camp? 885 01:52:09,075 --> 01:52:11,618 Just out past Oh-My-God Hot Springs. 886 01:52:12,412 --> 01:52:15,539 I've lived in and around here for six years now 887 01:52:16,082 --> 01:52:18,167 and I've never heard of any place that goes by that name. 888 01:52:18,251 --> 01:52:21,211 - Show me how to get there. - Yeah. 889 01:52:24,841 --> 01:52:27,468 - Ron Franz. - Alex. 890 01:52:27,594 --> 01:52:29,428 Alex? Where you from, Alex? 891 01:52:30,347 --> 01:52:34,350 - West Virginia. - Okay, Alex from West Virginia. 892 01:53:19,396 --> 01:53:24,149 Well, this is something out here. 893 01:53:29,030 --> 01:53:30,280 Don't you... 894 01:53:31,282 --> 01:53:35,994 Don't you worry about those dope smokers and nudists down below there? 895 01:53:36,079 --> 01:53:39,915 No, they keep to themselves pretty much. 896 01:53:39,999 --> 01:53:43,295 You strike me as a bright young man. Am I wrong about that? 897 01:53:44,506 --> 01:53:46,924 I think I've got my head on my shoulders pretty good. 898 01:53:47,008 --> 01:53:48,759 Well, that's what I mean. 899 01:53:53,432 --> 01:53:55,516 How long you been out here? 900 01:53:57,144 --> 01:54:00,354 - Couple of weeks. - And before that? 901 01:54:00,856 --> 01:54:04,024 A lot of places. Been moving around a lot. 902 01:54:05,152 --> 01:54:08,362 - Well, how old are you? - Twenty-three. 903 01:54:09,281 --> 01:54:10,531 Twenty-three years old! 904 01:54:10,615 --> 01:54:13,617 Son, don't you think you ought to be getting an education? 905 01:54:13,702 --> 01:54:16,704 And a job? And making something of this life? 906 01:54:19,916 --> 01:54:21,542 Look, Mr. Franz, 907 01:54:22,711 --> 01:54:26,589 I think careers are a 20th century invention, and I don't want one. 908 01:54:27,549 --> 01:54:31,385 You don't need to worry about me. I have a college education. 909 01:54:31,636 --> 01:54:35,806 I'm not destitute. I'm living like this by choice. 910 01:54:37,476 --> 01:54:41,854 - In the dirt? - Yeah, in the dirt. 911 01:54:46,151 --> 01:54:49,862 - Where's your family? - Don't have one anymore. 912 01:54:53,241 --> 01:54:54,742 That's a shame. 913 01:54:58,079 --> 01:55:00,789 Hey, Mr. Franz, I want to show you something. 914 01:55:01,541 --> 01:55:06,629 Come on. 915 01:55:32,280 --> 01:55:37,660 It's getting a little steep. A little high for me, kid. 916 01:55:39,120 --> 01:55:40,663 All right, 917 01:55:41,957 --> 01:55:45,251 but even from halfway out, it's quite a sight, isn't it? 918 01:55:47,295 --> 01:55:52,132 From the top, you can see all the way to the Salton Sea, too. 919 01:55:52,801 --> 01:55:55,219 You can see the Salton Sea from up there? 920 01:55:55,512 --> 01:55:56,804 Yes, sir. 921 01:55:57,597 --> 01:55:58,973 My goodness. 922 01:56:00,058 --> 01:56:04,897 - You don't want to go up? - Nope. I don't do these kind of things. 923 01:56:08,485 --> 01:56:10,903 I spent most of my life in the Army. 924 01:56:13,740 --> 01:56:18,494 New Year's Eve, 1957, I was stationed in Okinawa. 925 01:56:19,997 --> 01:56:24,000 My wife and son were here in the States just driving down the road, 926 01:56:24,084 --> 01:56:27,628 and some fella who'd had too much to drink plowed right into them. 927 01:56:28,171 --> 01:56:30,172 Killed them both. 928 01:56:34,553 --> 01:56:39,682 Now you might think the last thing I would do in the world 929 01:56:42,519 --> 01:56:44,312 is go to the whiskey. 930 01:56:46,023 --> 01:56:50,234 But at the time, it felt like the only thing I could do. 931 01:56:50,319 --> 01:56:52,945 And I did it hard! 932 01:56:55,949 --> 01:56:58,451 But pretty soon I realized 933 01:56:59,202 --> 01:57:03,456 I wasn't doing my wife and son any good mourning them with the bottle. 934 01:57:03,832 --> 01:57:07,877 So I pulled myself together and I quit drinking, 935 01:57:08,545 --> 01:57:09,920 cold turkey. 936 01:57:11,214 --> 01:57:15,593 So since all that, this is pretty much me. 937 01:57:16,887 --> 01:57:19,138 Do you ever travel, Mr. Franz? 938 01:57:20,182 --> 01:57:23,267 No, I can't seem to get too far from my leather. 939 01:57:24,978 --> 01:57:29,565 I do a lot of leather engraving. I got a little workshop out in the garage. 940 01:57:29,900 --> 01:57:32,109 Between that and my pension, I do pretty well. 941 01:57:32,194 --> 01:57:34,737 But every time I think I might take a trip somewhere, 942 01:57:34,821 --> 01:57:38,449 I get too far behind on orders and such to consider it. 943 01:57:39,326 --> 01:57:41,994 When we finish eating, I'd love to see your workshop. 944 01:57:42,079 --> 01:57:43,496 - Would you? - Oh, yeah. 945 01:57:43,580 --> 01:57:45,373 I was hoping you'd say that. 946 01:57:45,457 --> 01:57:48,417 - It's amazing how malleable this is. - Yeah, it is. 947 01:57:48,502 --> 01:57:50,211 When the leather is wet you can really... 948 01:57:50,295 --> 01:57:51,629 - It's like butter. - Yeah. 949 01:57:51,713 --> 01:57:55,257 It's amazing. And then it hardens up, and, I mean, it stays right there. 950 01:58:40,305 --> 01:58:45,977 A good whack with the mallet. Crack it down. Whack. Bang. 951 01:59:46,330 --> 01:59:49,999 I went to South Dakota. I worked at a grain elevator 952 01:59:50,083 --> 01:59:52,627 for this guy named Wayne. He was a really good guy. 953 01:59:52,711 --> 01:59:54,295 So I took the Colorado River 954 01:59:54,379 --> 01:59:57,673 all the way down through the Grand Canyon and did rapids, 955 01:59:57,758 --> 02:00:01,385 which is by far one of the scariest things I've ever done. 956 02:00:01,512 --> 02:00:06,891 And I took the Colorado down into Mexico, Golfo, where I got stuck. 957 02:00:07,768 --> 02:00:10,102 Salvation Mountain. The Slabs. 958 02:00:11,814 --> 02:00:13,940 What's the "N" stand for? 959 02:00:15,567 --> 02:00:16,734 North. 960 02:00:18,028 --> 02:00:19,695 Alaska? 961 02:00:22,699 --> 02:00:25,201 Son, what the hell are you running from? 962 02:00:26,328 --> 02:00:28,788 You know, I can ask you the same question! 963 02:00:29,832 --> 02:00:32,250 Except I already know the answer! 964 02:00:33,085 --> 02:00:34,585 You do, do you? 965 02:00:35,337 --> 02:00:39,590 I do, Mr. Franz! You got to get back out in the world! 966 02:00:40,386 --> 02:00:43,596 Get out of that lonely house, that little workshop of yours. 967 02:00:43,681 --> 02:00:47,725 Get back out on the road! Really! 968 02:00:48,602 --> 02:00:51,229 You're going to live a long time, Ron! 969 02:00:51,313 --> 02:00:54,607 You should make a radical change in your lifestyle! 970 02:00:55,276 --> 02:00:59,195 I mean, the core of man's spirit comes from new experiences. 971 02:00:59,738 --> 02:01:03,950 And there you are, stubborn old man, sitting on your butt. 972 02:01:05,077 --> 02:01:07,912 - Sitting on my butt? - Yeah. 973 02:01:09,456 --> 02:01:13,877 I'll show you sitting on my butt! 974 02:01:13,961 --> 02:01:16,004 "Stubborn old man." 975 02:01:17,464 --> 02:01:19,132 I'll show you! 976 02:01:19,633 --> 02:01:21,843 Come on, then! Come on. 977 02:01:24,805 --> 02:01:27,932 Sitting on my butt? Yeah. 978 02:01:30,019 --> 02:01:32,186 Come on, old man. Come climbing. 979 02:01:32,271 --> 02:01:33,980 Sitting on my butt. 980 02:01:34,315 --> 02:01:35,815 Come on. Keep going! 981 02:01:39,653 --> 02:01:41,362 You're doing great! 982 02:01:46,160 --> 02:01:48,828 - Keep going. Keep going, Ron! - Yeah! 983 02:01:50,581 --> 02:01:54,334 Can anybody see this? God, are you watching this right now? 984 02:02:02,509 --> 02:02:03,635 Yeah. 985 02:02:06,680 --> 02:02:11,017 - You all right? - You little pinhead! 986 02:02:28,535 --> 02:02:30,870 I'm gonna miss you when you go. 987 02:02:32,498 --> 02:02:36,167 I'll miss you, too, Ron. But you're wrong if you think 988 02:02:36,251 --> 02:02:40,213 that the joy of life comes principally from human relationships. 989 02:02:41,215 --> 02:02:43,549 God's placed it all around us. It's in everything. 990 02:02:43,634 --> 02:02:46,010 It's in anything we can experience. 991 02:02:46,887 --> 02:02:50,390 People just need to change the way they look at those things. 992 02:02:50,474 --> 02:02:52,684 Yeah, I'm gonna take stock of that. 993 02:02:54,561 --> 02:02:55,853 No, I am. 994 02:03:00,069 --> 02:03:01,152 I am. 995 02:03:03,531 --> 02:03:05,740 But I wanted to tell you something. 996 02:03:09,495 --> 02:03:12,247 From the bits and pieces I put together, 997 02:03:12,331 --> 02:03:16,418 you know, from what you told me about your family, your mother and your dad. 998 02:03:18,421 --> 02:03:21,756 And I know you've got your problems with the church, too. 999 02:03:23,676 --> 02:03:27,429 But there's some kind of bigger thing we can all appreciate, 1000 02:03:28,431 --> 02:03:31,641 and it sounds like you don't mind calling it God. 1001 02:03:37,732 --> 02:03:40,650 But when you forgive, 1002 02:03:42,903 --> 02:03:44,154 you love. 1003 02:03:47,908 --> 02:03:50,952 And when you love, 1004 02:03:51,787 --> 02:03:54,372 God's light shines on you. 1005 02:03:59,086 --> 02:04:02,797 - Holy shit. - I told you about that language. 1006 02:04:12,975 --> 02:04:14,476 I told you so! 1007 02:04:17,354 --> 02:04:20,899 Where are the fucking animals now? I'm hungry! 1008 02:04:21,025 --> 02:04:25,236 I'm fucking hungry! I'm fucking hungry! 1009 02:04:42,296 --> 02:04:46,049 "For a moment she rediscovered the purpose of her life. 1010 02:04:46,926 --> 02:04:50,637 "She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment, 1011 02:04:50,721 --> 02:04:53,556 "and to call each thing by its right name." 1012 02:04:56,852 --> 02:04:58,520 "By its right name." 1013 02:04:59,313 --> 02:05:01,648 What is this? What is this one? 1014 02:05:04,693 --> 02:05:09,656 This is Viburnum edule. Viburnum edule. 1015 02:05:14,495 --> 02:05:17,497 Hedysarum alpinum. 1016 02:05:19,585 --> 02:05:24,297 Hedysarum alpinum is wild potato root. Wild potato root. 1017 02:05:26,551 --> 02:05:30,220 Epilobium angustifolium. Fireweed. 1018 02:08:25,606 --> 02:08:28,525 Fuck it all. Fuck it all! 1019 02:11:06,936 --> 02:11:07,978 Hi. 1020 02:11:08,062 --> 02:11:11,231 What are you doing up? It's 3:30 in the morning. 1021 02:11:11,566 --> 02:11:14,776 I heard you get off the couch about a half hour ago. 1022 02:11:16,070 --> 02:11:19,781 Had a funny feeling you might not be here for our breakfast. 1023 02:11:23,995 --> 02:11:28,916 I'm gonna drive you 100 miles to someplace where you can catch a train, 1024 02:11:29,667 --> 02:11:34,379 a plane or hitch a ride and not get stuck out in this desert. 1025 02:11:35,590 --> 02:11:39,593 I'd take you all the way to Alaska if I didn't have an 8:00 mass. 1026 02:11:39,928 --> 02:11:43,347 - Ron, you don't have to do that. - I want to do it. 1027 02:11:44,224 --> 02:11:47,226 Get you started on this thing of yours. 1028 02:11:47,685 --> 02:11:49,728 - On my great... - I know. 1029 02:11:50,396 --> 02:11:52,940 On your great Alaskan adventure. 1030 02:11:53,733 --> 02:11:56,443 Here. Here's a machete. 1031 02:11:58,780 --> 02:12:03,617 Collapsible fishing pole, a few other odds and ends I stuck in there for you. 1032 02:12:07,080 --> 02:12:09,498 - Ron... - Just take it. 1033 02:12:10,875 --> 02:12:13,710 I'll get dressed and meet you in the truck. 1034 02:13:09,978 --> 02:13:11,604 Well, my friend. 1035 02:13:14,065 --> 02:13:15,149 Yep. 1036 02:13:19,529 --> 02:13:22,031 I had an idea. 1037 02:13:23,158 --> 02:13:27,828 You know, my mother was an only child 1038 02:13:28,705 --> 02:13:30,539 and so was my father, 1039 02:13:31,166 --> 02:13:35,461 and I was their only child, 1040 02:13:38,840 --> 02:13:41,550 so when I'm gone, I'm the end of the line. 1041 02:13:42,594 --> 02:13:44,720 My family will be finished. 1042 02:13:48,391 --> 02:13:53,729 What do you say you let me adopt you? 1043 02:13:58,068 --> 02:14:02,196 I can be, say, your grandfather. 1044 02:14:06,576 --> 02:14:08,202 Ron, 1045 02:14:09,788 --> 02:14:13,582 could we talk about this when I get back from Alaska? 1046 02:14:13,958 --> 02:14:15,751 Would that be okay? 1047 02:14:23,051 --> 02:14:26,261 Yeah, yeah. We can do that. Yeah. 1048 02:14:31,226 --> 02:14:32,559 All right, Ron. 1049 02:14:34,938 --> 02:14:36,271 Thank you. 1050 02:15:25,407 --> 02:15:27,616 What did his voice sound like now? 1051 02:15:28,869 --> 02:15:31,078 What would he tell about now? 1052 02:15:31,538 --> 02:15:34,665 ...nine, ten. 1053 02:16:24,299 --> 02:16:29,261 I realized that the words to my thoughts were of less and less meaning. 1054 02:16:29,346 --> 02:16:31,472 Chris was writing his story, 1055 02:16:32,933 --> 02:16:35,935 and it had to be Chris who would tell it. 1056 02:18:56,703 --> 02:18:59,163 "To call each thing by its right name. 1057 02:19:04,044 --> 02:19:05,753 "By its right name." 1058 02:19:56,932 --> 02:19:58,975 What if I were smiling 1059 02:20:01,437 --> 02:20:03,771 and running into your arms? 1060 02:20:26,378 --> 02:20:28,129 Would you see then